Let's talk Anxiety.

 This wasn't a planned post for this month there was something else something more happy that I wanted to post. But this one I feel is important to me so I want to share it with you guys. Before, I move any forward I would like to state clearly that I am not a mental health professional and whatever I talk about here is basically going to be about my own experiences and thoughts about it. This is not the general anxiety post that is going to tell you it's okay and glamourize anxiety. See, We as humans are all anxious to some extent about something. There might not even be one person who can say that I have never been anxious about anything .So, it's a universal feeling but not a universal disorder. It is increasing at an alarming rate but it is not universal as a disorder. Once you start to explain people about it they just think you are worrying about things just worrying nothing else. They tell you to stop thinking and it will be okay but what nobody understands is that it is not in my control if it was ever I would have stopped it the day it started. Look anxiety in general is terrible but having it as a disorder feels like hell. Honestly ,right now we have generalized it so much that if I genuinely tell someone that I have anxiety disorder that person might not believe me or maybe reply with oh I see ! But in their mind they know that you don't have it you are just saying it casually to gain sympathy or maybe making an excuse for some advantage because they saw you laughing five minutes ago and you look fine and nobody is to be blamed for that.

Not everybody understands what anxiety disorder is and what it looks like. This term has been randomized so much that today everybody thinks they have it and they aren't wrong everybody gets anxious like I mentioned before but not everybody has a disorder. We are cynical and that's fine because we do have many liars amongst us . You never know right ? but here's a thing some of us don't lie. We've had proper diagnosis , consultations and medication for it. It is not easy and not something that should be normalized as a lie. 

      

 Anxiety disorder feels like shit. Trust me, It is super troublesome to have it in your life. I've had it for a while now. It's been some years since I had been diagnosed and let me tell you it is no joke. It's like you know something is wrong with you but what it is  you don't know and the more you try to find out the what goes on building inside you like it's eating you up. It might make you cry and still you won't know what it is about. After a point  out of nowhere your head will start hurting so much that you might not know if you are going to make it out of this or not. You will go and lie on your mamma’s lap thinking if I don't make it out of this today I want this to be my last place. I've been here once and it is not a good experience at all . One day out of nowhere your chest might start paining along with your left arm. Everybody around you might tell you it is just gas and you would try everything for the gas and it would get even worse. You then might go for a walk in the fresh air like you always do and guess what nothing would change , then you might google your symptoms and it would tell you that you are having a heart attack again , you don't know if you would make it out of this so you hug every family member, who tells you don't worry it's nothing and then you go to bed because you don't know if you are going make it out of this and see the next day. When you go the doctor he asks you get a ECG done immediately you do it and it's fine. Your heart is not damaged it is just beating faster than usual and then you will know that it is ANXIETY but you still don't know if you are going to make it out of this or not but once you have it diagnosed a lot of things that add up to your already anxious mind go away. So , I think seeing a doctor is the best thing to do. 

     Now while you were in this turmoil where you didn't know if you were going to live or die . In the real world you might have missed on a lot of things and when you tell the authorities that you couldn't come or couldn't do a work because you had anxiety they look at you in disbelief and tell you that '' I know all that you are taking about . I've seen many like you'' and in this situation and if you are student who has just entered college after being on anxiety medication for a week everything told to you hits like a bullet. This is when you show them your diagnosis and the prescription and they still don't believe you completely but yes papers are magic for academic institutions once you give them that they let you go. Look, anxiety is not easy medication, attacks , crying , pains all of this is hard to deal with. So if you have it tell people even if they don't believe you on the flip side if you don't have it please don't lie about it and don't even self diagnose it for yourself . It is not a joke for anybody to use it like an excuse or a lie . All I want to say is use these words wisely. Now, next time whenever you say Anxiety remember it is not easy , not glamorous, not a good place to be in so, I won't lie about it and use it as an excuse ever or throw it in any situation like any other casual word.

In future on this blog you might see me talk about anxiety more because anxiety and me keep meeting. I still have it but I am in a better place with it now than I was a few years ago. I am still trying to get rid of it but I don't tell many people about it because most of them don't believe you that is why I put this out here. If someone ever tells you that they have anxiety if not completely partially try to believe them. Try to not lie or use that word casually. so that if I actually have it and need help I can get it.